Closer to the edge

They called last night. They want to fly us up there to run a weekend service. To meet us in person. We didn't freak them out or push them away with our interview. My crazy hippiness wasn't a turnoff. They think they want us up there.

Our thoughts when we initially applied for this position was that they wouldn't want us. Rodney asked Jason to apply, and we did, but we thought that we were too radical for what they wanted. We LIKE Mosaic. No. We LOVE Mosaic. We have friends here. We worship freely here. We are pushed here. We push here. We have good, fairly secure jobs, with good pay, and decent enough hours and benefits. I LIKE it here. I am at home here. Yes, I complain sometimes about the lack of rain, the heat, the politics. But, that's just something to complain about, its not really a deal breaker.

One year ago, I started listening to WPR in Wisconsin online because I was fantasizing about moving up to Rockford with Rodney and Cyndy. I looked at houses, I drooled over Chicago. I adore the Anderson Gardens, the town is idyllic, but large enough to have interesting things (no creepy small-town Danville stuff at all), and is VERY close to Chicago. I loved it when I visited in October. They have SEASONS!

Where I stand today, I have no idea. Thoughts of leaving upset me and make me cry. But I do not want to limit Jason. Do I think that we will have great experiences up there? Yes. But I don't want to leave this great experience. I have never felt this way about anything before. I was even ready to leave college and start new when the time came. I feel like I have put roots down and am hanging on with my fingers and toes to this texas clay.

Is this a sign then that we aren't supposed to go? Or am I being selfish, upset about leaving a sheltered cove? I was hoping that RVCC would make the no decision for us. That way we wouldn't have to wonder if we were doing the right thing or not. It is becoming more apparent to me that we are going to have to take that decision leap and I'm dragging my feet.