WTFMFWTFAYT?

So, I know, its been a while since I've posted (again!). BUT, I was listening to a podcast called Quirky Nomads and I heard a song that expresses my thoughts, frustrations, just *grrr* completely.

You can take a listen to it by clicking here (and then clicking on the listen button next to the song).

Yes. It IS therapeutic.

My sister

My sister has recently reemerged into my life. I am so very happy. We were so close as children, then we became teenagers and sort of just lost it. Of course, part of that was me going to a foreign country for a year, then graduating and going off to college, but still, it was really tough to realize that being close as we had been wasn't something that was guaranteed to continue for the rest of our lives. I can remember the day that I realized this so clearly. I'd just come home from my first semester at college for Christmas break; I'd been there for about 4 days or so when Rachel came stomping into my room. She demanded that I go back to college because she was tired of me interrupting her social life. That was harsh. But I withdrew. It wasn't worth the hurt to try.

Fast forward 7 years, and she calls me. She says that she wants to get our relationship back to where it used to be, so we can share our experiences, be close sisters again. Welcome back. And even if we go through periods of closeness and distance, I will always keep the light on for you and a cup of tea warming on the stove. I love you.

Desert Rose

So, I have these two desert roses - lovely suculents, perfect for hot and dry TX, and they were pretty cheap. They have been teasing me now, for about 2 months. When I bought them, I really wasn't sure what to expect. They have a lovely rosette foliage pattern and I thought maybe that was why they were called roses. You can't expect all desert plants to flower, can you? Well, they started growing these arms, which then started sprouting these beautful buds (about two months ago, remember) THAT STILL HAVEN'T OPENED YET!!!!

They've matured, and turned this beautiful, delicate pink, and have even started to open slightly, so that I can get a hint of pistil and stamen, but still no sight of a completely opened, beautiful flower. And it is just driving me nutso. It is insane to have to wait this long to get to see what's waiting in there. Some days, I really just want to help them along. Others, I begin to wonder if something is wrong with my plant and I won't ever get to see the flowers. Or, maybe I'm looking for the blooms at the wrong time of day, maybe they are only open for an hour a day... Or...

This waiting on the flower to open has really become an incredible metaphor of my life right now. I am having to wait on a certain amount of time to pass to be able to find out what's cooking in me. I am expecting. I am preparing. I am slow-cooking. In this era of instant gratification, its funny how being pregnant really just throws that whole notion out the window. You've got to wait at least 9 months to be able to see and to hold what's been inside you for so long. The beautiful thing is, that at every stage of this pregnancy, there is beauty. There are things to enjoy, to love, to muse on. Just like with my desert roses - they are beautiful at every stage, from the non-flower point, the the almost opened buds, there is something so precious, and delicate, but also strong and stubborn that is wonderful to meditate on every day.

I am realizing that I need to enjoy each and every day for what it gives because I will never get it back just like it is today again. What a gift.

Daily Journal

So, this week for fight club, I have to journal something every day. Gah. The point is to help me write down/commemorate the now because I am focusing entirely too much on "what's next". So, here is my attempt at my daily journal.

I have recently taken up knitting. And I love it. No, not just like, LOVE it. I started getting interested in it about a year ago, and Sheri (a friend at work) gave me this giant bag of yarn and a crochet hook and said she would teach me (and then subsequently fell off the face of the planet). So, needless to say, that yarn has sat around in the closet in the guest bedroom for a long time.

Well, when we started cleaning out that room to make space for Annan, I rediscovered my stash. And my desire to knit. So, I emailed all the women at Mosaic to see if any of them knew how to knit. None of them did. So I went to Michael's and bought a how to knit book and kit. And then failed to understand the pictures. Luckily, one of the Mosaic attenders said she knew how to knit (she's a recent HS grad) and that she would LOVE to teach me. And then I found this amazing website with videos showing every step of the process, and suddenly, I'm knitting!

I absolutely love it. There is a logic to the knitting that is very soothing to me. And it is very easy to do (once you figure out how it thinks, of course). There are so many different yarns out there, lots of free patterns, lots of all kinds of stuff. My goodness. I think I've found a hobby. :)

My first completed project was a sock for my ipod. I got tired of it getting all dinged up in my bag. All I need now to complete it is a button to keep the flap closed :) I also started on some baby booties, and actually finished one (and promptly lost one of my US8 needles - DOH!), so I've got to wait until I get a new set of 8s to finish that one. I'm also working on a delightfully chunky scarf - YUM! I'll need to get more yarn in order to be able to finish this project, but still, it is so exciting to see something useful come out of all this.

So, this is where I am today. Loving knitting. Loving creating.