So, I have these two desert roses - lovely suculents, perfect for hot and dry TX, and they were pretty cheap. They have been teasing me now, for about 2 months. When I bought them, I really wasn't sure what to expect. They have a lovely rosette foliage pattern and I thought maybe that was why they were called roses. You can't expect all desert plants to flower, can you? Well, they started growing these arms, which then started sprouting these beautful buds (about two months ago, remember) THAT STILL HAVEN'T OPENED YET!!!!
They've matured, and turned this beautiful, delicate pink, and have even started to open slightly, so that I can get a hint of pistil and stamen, but still no sight of a completely opened, beautiful flower. And it is just driving me nutso. It is insane to have to wait this long to get to see what's waiting in there. Some days, I really just want to help them along. Others, I begin to wonder if something is wrong with my plant and I won't ever get to see the flowers. Or, maybe I'm looking for the blooms at the wrong time of day, maybe they are only open for an hour a day... Or...
This waiting on the flower to open has really become an incredible metaphor of my life right now. I am having to wait on a certain amount of time to pass to be able to find out what's cooking in me. I am expecting. I am preparing. I am slow-cooking. In this era of instant gratification, its funny how being pregnant really just throws that whole notion out the window. You've got to wait at least 9 months to be able to see and to hold what's been inside you for so long. The beautiful thing is, that at every stage of this pregnancy, there is beauty. There are things to enjoy, to love, to muse on. Just like with my desert roses - they are beautiful at every stage, from the non-flower point, the the almost opened buds, there is something so precious, and delicate, but also strong and stubborn that is wonderful to meditate on every day.
I am realizing that I need to enjoy each and every day for what it gives because I will never get it back just like it is today again. What a gift.
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